Water, Explained

Yes, they are different

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Water, Explained

Nathan Fletcher, Graphics Editor

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Water (or, as nerds call it, H20) is quite literally the reason I’m alive. I don’t know where I’d be without it. But, all drinkers of water worth their salt (no pun intended) know that not all variants of this life-giving liquid are created equal.

 

  1. Dasani

Dasani water reminds me of the time in 6th grade when I was dared to lick a rock. If I wanted water this salty, I’d have brought a straw to California.

 

  1. Public Bathroom Sink Water

During many a track meet have I found that the only place to refill my water bottle was the local boy’s bathroom. As a general guide, stay away from water that comes out of the tap opaque, and don’t drink bathroom water unless you’re about to run at least a mile.

 

  1. Kirkland Signature

From hams to my winter coat, Costco makes a lot of stuff. But one product you might not have known they produce is water. It tastes like clouds. This isn’t a good thing, dust seems to be their unofficial secret ingredient. Every time I took a sip of Kirkland Signature, I felt like I’d walked into my grandparents’ closet for the first time.

 

  1. Smart Water

I don’t care what the name says, I drank about eight of these and still got a D on my math test. The only “wisdom” this drink imparted on me was that I should use the bathroom before class.

 

  1. Tap Water

Cheap. Easy. Dependable. This is a solid water for all your basic water needs. Bottle not included.

 

  1. Drinking Fountain Water

The water in drinking fountains is clear and crisp, but suffers from a metallic aftertaste caused by the fountain itself. However, the best thing about drinking fountain water is the convenience. It’s always there when you most need it. And trust me, after a summer run, that knock-off mercury is going to taste like Chris Hemsworth looks.

 

  1. Hyvee Spring Water

This fresh take on spring water provides a smooth, hydrating taste that you just don’t get from other waters. It isn’t over-salted, like many bottled waters, but at the same time it doesn’t fall into the same trap of blandness that purified water does. Whether it be a birthday party, family gathering, night on the town, or good old-fashioned staying alive, Hyvee Spring Water is perfect for any occasion.

Nathan Fletcher

Nathan became a member of The Flightline in August of 2017. He is a senior this year, involved in cross country, track, and drama, and can be found watching movies outside of school. You can email him at [email protected]