“Geostorm” Is (Literally) One Disaster After Another

Latest disaster movie fails to appease audiences

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“Geostorm” Is (Literally) One Disaster After Another

The latest poster for the disaster movie

The latest poster for the disaster movie "Geostorm."

Photo by Den of Geek/Skydance Media

The latest poster for the disaster movie "Geostorm."

Photo by Den of Geek/Skydance Media

Photo by Den of Geek/Skydance Media

The latest poster for the disaster movie "Geostorm."

Natalie Pearson, Staff Reporter

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Dean Devlin’s “Geostorm” is perhaps one of the worst movies to ever grace the silver screen, and I am saying this in complete confidence. It’s the sort of movie you can enjoy only if you turn your brain off. It is, in my opinion, god-awful, and if its 13 percent score on Rotten Tomatoes is any indication, the rest of the world seems to agree with me.

“Geostorm” involves a world where humanity has gained the ability to control the weather through a network of satellites, called ‘Dutch Boy.’ Soon, however, Dutch Boy is hacked into, hijacked, and weaponized. The protagonist Jake Lawson (Gerard Butler) and his allies must find the culprit all while preventing an apocalyptic event—a Geostorm.

Cue the dramatic music and cheesy sound effects.

The concept was mildly intriguing, so I went, and needless to say it was completely uninspiring.

There were no emotional moments because it had no heart. Alexandra Maria Lara’s performance in particular was so monotonous I actually thought she was a robot before they showed her face, and she was supposed to be the love interest. Most of the dialogue was clichéd, and any and all deaths were so obvious it felt like they were outright telling you beforehand.

“Geostorm” did manage to make me care about one character, though—but he was not the main character, nor did he have any purpose other than to further the plot, as is with most minority or “token” characters. Unsurprisingly, he was killed off as soon as he fulfilled his purpose. I was disappointed.

The action scenes in particular were formulaic; so much so they can be summed up in three words: running from weather. Even if it was running from an ice storm in Brazil, a heat wave in Hong Kong, or tornados in India—it was all the same, which got very boring, very quickly. They even were so bold as to put a giant timer on the screen during the climax reading ‘Countdown to Geostorm.’ Meanwhile, I was counting down the minutes until this movie was over.

I could rant all day about why this movie is horrible, but the one thing “Geostorm” did right was its CGI. It was almost hyper-realistic and perhaps its only redeemable quality, but alas it was overshadowed by its aimless plot, stale dialogue and flat characters.

“Geostorm” was a feeble attempt at making a unique disaster movie and simply tried combining too many plotlines at once. Instead of breaking box office records, “Geostorm” was a complete flop. If you’re preparing to go see this in theaters, brace for Category 5 CGI Boredom.

Natalie Pearson

Natalie became a member of the Flightline in August of 2017. She is a junior this year, involved in band. Outside of school, she enjoys watching movies and playing video games. You can email her at [email protected]