Student News of Skutt Catholic High School

The Flightline

  • 5/10 : Spring Choir Concert in the Skutt Catholic Commons @ 7

  • 5/4 : Hawk Walk!

17 Quirky Quotes, Courtesy of Zoe Weland

Some spectacular saying from a particularly eccentric Junior

A+rare+sighting+of+the+majestic+Zoe
A rare sighting of the majestic Zoe

A rare sighting of the majestic Zoe

Photo by Claire Kolkman

Photo by Claire Kolkman

A rare sighting of the majestic Zoe

Hope Stratman, Copy Editor

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






Zoe Elizabeth Weland is one of the most endearingly odd people I know. This five-foot, eleven-inch tall junior is quiet when you first meet her, but be warned: if you become her friend, get ready for a whole lot of amazing, ingenious craziness. She is ridiculously witty and weird, so it’s not surprising when some pretty strange stuff comes out of her mouth.

During my sophomore year, I started recording all of the obscure topics she brought into everyday conversation, and I ended up collecting nearly 50 ‘Zoe Quotes.’ The following are some of the highlights.

 

1. Me: “Hey, are you ashamed in any way of that photo taken of you on Amelia’s phone?”
Zoe: “Only ashamed that it’s not on any of the U.S. currency.”

2. “Not everyone can be 5’11”; it’s a hard job, but someone’s got to do it.”

3. Me: “Oh, my finger’s bleeding!”
Zoe: “Do you want a band-aid? (*pause*) I don’t have one, but, I mean, I can offer you one.”

4. “‘I don’t have to prove anything to anyone’ is a terrible motto for sports.”

5. “I’m not above being petty. I can be below it, I might even be beside it, but I’m definitely not above it.”

6. Me: “Well, that’s contradictory.”
Zoe: “Your face is contradictory.”

7. “At my funeral, I want Beyoncé singing. And if anyone cries, slap them in the face and say, ‘NO!’ You can cry for five minutes, but then you’ve gotta be gangsta.”

8. “I love to self-sacrifice myself.”

9. “Introducing Mr. Wasserburger, English teacher, grammar Nazi, and nighttime preposition vigilante!”

10. Me: “What happens if your parents forget to call in that you’re sick?”
Zoe: “Well, the school people call your parents. But if a parent is like, ‘What? My child? She should be at school,’ they’ll be like, ‘Annie, get your gun.'”

11. “MY THEOLOGY TEACHER SHAVED, AND I WASN’T PREPARED. HE’S HAD A BEARD SINCE AUGUST. I AM SHOOK.”

12. “Someone just texted me and told me that Rachel was dead and that I was next.”

13. “I’m reporting you to the principal for insulting my organs.”

14. Zoe: “I’m going to slap India in the face.”
Amelia: “India doesn’t have a face.”
Zoe: “I’m going to make India a face and then slap it.”

15. “Hold that tape and I’ll karate chop it.”

16. “You’re not only gonna be truant next week, you’ll also be rude. You’ll be trude. Or ruant.”

17. “I’d climb Mount Everest for you, bro, without a jacket.”

Leave a Comment

If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a gravatar.




Navigate Right
Navigate Left
  • 17 Quirky Quotes, Courtesy of Zoe Weland

    BirdFeed

    5 Video Games You Wish Were Still On Your iPad

  • 17 Quirky Quotes, Courtesy of Zoe Weland

    BirdFeed

    We Rate Students’ Dogs

  • 17 Quirky Quotes, Courtesy of Zoe Weland

    BirdFeed

    Which Famous Roman Catholic Pope Are You?

  • 17 Quirky Quotes, Courtesy of Zoe Weland

    BirdFeed

    Seniors’ Declassified School Survival Guide

  • 17 Quirky Quotes, Courtesy of Zoe Weland

    BirdFeed

    Annual Epidemic Plagues Skutt Catholic

  • 17 Quirky Quotes, Courtesy of Zoe Weland

    BirdFeed

    Famous Last Words

  • 17 Quirky Quotes, Courtesy of Zoe Weland

    BirdFeed

    Deep Thoughts With Peter And Sam: Episode 3

  • 17 Quirky Quotes, Courtesy of Zoe Weland

    BirdFeed

    Ten Reasons Why You Should Always Listen to Mrs. Kros

  • 17 Quirky Quotes, Courtesy of Zoe Weland

    BirdFeed

    9 Clever Ways to Save and Make Money Without a Job

  • 17 Quirky Quotes, Courtesy of Zoe Weland

    BirdFeed

    Vivace’s Best and Worst Facial Expressions of 2017

Student News of Skutt Catholic High School
17 Quirky Quotes, Courtesy of Zoe Weland